all good things come to an end...

so im sitting here reflecting on the last couple of days (and to be honest, im shedding a few tears) but they arent all sad...i am just SO happy that i got the chance to see some family over the weekend! Not only was it a few of the funnest days i'v had for awhile...it was some of the most profound! I'v mentioned that i value being known and knowing others and thats exactly what this weekend was for me...a time to be known! It was FULL of laughter and good conversation! And i didnt feel that i had to explain myself all that much...my dad (and mark) get me so well that most of what i was saying or stuff that they would say to me was assumed, which to me are rare type of relationship!

anyways,When they got here friday we started with a trip around their old stompin grounds...heard some great stories! then they toured the school with me, which was so fun for me to share some of what iv been experiencing with them, they got to see and get a feel for my daily surroundings and environment, meet some of my friends etc...then (after driving around for hours, lol) we got some drinks at a hotel downtown and then grabbed some of hte best bbq iv ever had at E & L's!!!
We got up saturday mornin and grabbed some starbucks, (praise god!) then drove to Nawlins! chowed down on some beneighs in the french quarter then walked around and admired some of the artwork! It was a perfect day, sunny but kinda cool! Then i had my first Hurricane-which just about sent me over the edge! we spent a good 2 hours at patty o'briens and i dont think i was quite drunk, but i was definately not sober, haha...it was a great time tho! Then we left to grab some grub-ended up in a little whole in the wall bar-we were the only people that were there...the bartender (barry) ended up sittin with us for most of the meal! by the end of the night we were takin shots together and takin pictures! Then we went back to bourbon street for some live music at "open door" it was amazing music! Part of my favorite entertainment tho was watching my dad and mark "jam" with the band...they were a little loose if ysa kno what i mean! haha
Sunday after we all recovered,haha, got to sit down for lunch with dr. john perkins-heard some profound things! then another starbucks run with the oldies-which actually we got a great hour or so in, talkin about my experience thus far processing what has been happening and talking about the goals, vision etc for the future! and now they're gone and i cant help but cry because, well one, im a crier, lol and 2 because not only is some of the fun over, but those people, who are people i feel known by, comfortable with, secure in, people i can be vulnerable with are gone! no they arent dying and yes i will see them soon, but it was such a relief to be with them this weekend and not have to think! we had some great conversations but i didnt really have to process anything or make any big decisions! lately i have just felt mentally and emotionally drained and having them here this weekend allowed me to just let go for a couple of days!
Feel like got a little breathe of life breathed back into me and now i can finish the semester strong with faith and confidence in what i am doing! forever grateful for the lessons learned this weekend...but more than wisdom and great advice...i thank you, mark and dad for simply loving me enough to show up and be present when i needed it most!

grace like rain...

so this morning when i got up for class i was in a sort of solomn, reflective mood. We had a house meeting last night and a lot of issues were addressed so i was thinking about that and also recently have just been trying to think about the goals i have or want to set before i leave because im realizing just how close that day is from now (6 weeks i think?!?) i dont think its bad to be reflective or serious, but i have been a little too caught up in that kind of stuff that sometimes i forget to just enjoy what is around me!
So ANYWAYS, i walked out of the house and it was sprinkling rain, but i had my northface on so i was thinking id be good! it felt SO good to walk in the rain...it was kinda cool outside and overcast (almost felt like i was in seattle!) but as soon as i turned the corner from robinson street it started POURING!!! not just a lot of little rain drops but a TON of HUGE rain drops! after literally 4 seconds it looked like i had dove into a pool with all my clothes on! i could do nothing but laugh! i just got the giggles for the next couple blocks! Its like god knew i needed a little break-and as i got to school i couldnt help but think of that song "hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me" sometimes i forget how blessed i am...as corny as it sounds, it was just a nice reminder...

p.s. for those of you that were worried about me being SOPPING wet, no worries-i had some extra clothes in my back pack and got a hold of a friend on campus! i changed in her room and left my stuff to dry!

p.p.s only 3 links in my count down chain for my visitors coming friday!!! ( my dad and uncle mark!!! lol-you guys are gettin me through this week!)

its ok to look stupid...sometimes

Today i had to walk to walgreens, so i asked my roommate if she wanted to come with..she said she wanted to run tho...so naturally i suggested DA-NOGGING (which is dancing and jogging) lol! we both brought our i-pods, played different songs, so we were dancing to different beats! (im sure we looked absolutely ridiculous) sometimes we'd stop and jerk...then we'd dougie..and at times we'de stop and she would try and teach me the Mo'Head swag (i feel like im pretty good rhythmically but for some reason just cannot learn this dance, lol!) anyways...what i realized while doing this was it was the first time i felt stupid BY CHOICE since i'v been here...and thats a completely different feeling than feeling stupid when you walk into a room and everyone stares or open your mouth and say the wrong thing...and i gotta say it felt so good to laugh at myself! so maybe da-nogging will be a weekly thing!
thats all for today, just a random tid-bit i wanted to share! love to you all...

The audience...almost as entertaining as the performers

anytime a song comes on people get up and start doin their "struts"...

more of that famous Mo'Head swag!!!

STEP SHOW!!!

These are the Sigmas, my personal favorites of the night! just wanted to give ya a little taste....

MO'HEAD SWAG!!!

this is the most RIDICULOUS dance i have ever seen, but EVERY ONE here does it! (this guy right here is the best!) im workin on it so i can bring it back to the tac, lol!

SO anyways, this would be an example of a "hot spot" on campus! and its homecoming week so its extra crazy! people and alum come from all over to support their sororities or fraternities and there are things scheduled all week! This hot spot lasted a couple hours!

im in a little bit of a funk right now...heres the story...

last week i was walking home from the gym...it wasnt dark yet, but it was gettin there. A nice blue car rolled past me, after passing me it turned around and came up behind me. At first i thought...just keep walkin! but then the window rolled down and a heard a mans voice say "you good?" ("you need a ride?") i said, ya im alright, thanks tho! he said, alright i was just checkin, i'v seen you on campus, dont want ya to get snatched up! i kinda snickered and said...well if i got in a car with you you could snatch me up! he laughed and said "i feel you, its not like that tho...i see you talkin to lil joe everyday, you seem like a good person, just thought you could use a ride!" ...so i said, well i appreciate the offer, i kinda like walkin anyways! he said, alright, well take it easy...let me kno if you ever got problems on campus! i said "sure will, preciate it!" he drove off, i thought nothin about it!
2 nights later i went to the football game then out with some girls afterwards! lil joe was at the club, so you aready know i spent some good quality time talkin to him!haha! and while i was talkin to him, i look up and there was the guy with the blue car...and we just looked at eachother, it wasnt an awkward stare and it wasnt a sexual thing...it was weird tho, he looked at me for a good 5-10seconds, then looked at joe, then back at me...then smiled! i kinda laughed then went back to my conversation with joe! on my end it just felt affirming, like he wa supporting me, even if just in that moment...because most people were prob wondering, why did she come to the club to talk to lil joe?! i dunno, i really cant explain it, and maybe im making it all up in my head because i want it to mean something.
 But today i found out that a student from jsu passed away...(and im not gonna give his name) but it was him!  I dont think that i could have done anything to stop it, but for some reason im feelin really sick about it! i think part of it is because i labeled him the second i saw him...i assumed he pulled over with motivations other than pure kindness. and i think he could sense that...i think most people can! so i am thankful to him for reminding me to put faith in people..and not only when i feel they "deserve" it, but simply because they are alive on this earth with me. It is also just a reminder to live life to the fullest, i think its easy for me to get caught up in outcomes, consequences or just my own thought process when whats really important is that i engage in whats in front of me.
anyways,  if you think about it, say  alittle prayer for his family and friends!